还是俺家热闹

没记性

毛毛又把一道曾经见过的题做错了,爸爸气愤极了,冲着毛毛吼道:“你这个废物,见过的题就像没见过一样,一点儿记性都没有?”

“谁说俺没记性?”

“你用什么来证明?”

“比如说《快乐大本营》,一开电视我就知道这期见过没有!”

 

人生最舒服的时候

姐夫和小姨子凑到一起,就是喜欢开个玩笑。

有一天,姐夫问小姨子:“你说,人的一生,在什么时候感觉最舒服?”

小姨子一听,脸就红了,她想,真是邪门带拐弯的,他竟然敢调戏我。

姐夫见小姨子这种光景,心想,她一定想歪了,只好自问自答:“有一天单位开会,我憋了一个屁,那才叫难受呢。后来实在没办法,我就去了厕所,这顿排放啊,当时就醒悟了,人的一生,只有这种情况下才是最舒服的!”



 

把药倒进亚马逊河了

妈妈正忙着做饭,于是对在写作业的杰克说:“杰克,把妈妈给你冲好的感冒药喝了!”

杰克最讨厌吃药了,于是假装答应了。

过了一会,妈妈进来了,发现写字台上湿湿的,有些不对劲,就生气地问杰克:“你是不是又骗妈妈了,快说感冒药到底喝了没有?”

杰克一看事已败露只好承认了,说:“没喝,我把它倒了!”

“倒哪了?”

“亚马逊河里。”

“你还敢瞎编?”妈妈真的火儿了,举手就要打杰克

杰克连忙说:“真的倒进亚马逊河了,不信你看。”说着递给妈妈一张湿湿的世界地图!

 

哄我是吧

一没学过英语的父亲问其刚学英语不久的儿子:手用英语怎么讲?

儿子:hand.(焊的)…

其父听后大发雷霆,并扇儿子一耳光,手明明是长的,怎么会是焊的,你看我没学英语,哄我是吧!

 

萝卜汤放牛肉

傍晚,老丈母娘到姑爷家窜门,正唠着嗑呢,老丈母娘放了个闷臭屁,她不好意思了,笑了笑说:“谁家做萝卜汤了。”

姑爷就随嘴应着:“是啊,好象还放了点牛肉。”

老丈母娘一听,马上说:“不对啊,中午我也没放牛肉啊?”

发表评论

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目前评论:7   其中:访客  3   博主  2   引用   2

  1. Malik Almodova 0

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    • lcy4691

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